Want to be really clever? Think about it.

Have you seen the new ads for Duane Reade Drugs all around the city? They're trying really really hard to be creative. And failing spectacularly in the process.

You've probably seen them. The visuals are all dark, washed-out images of New York City, with a "ha ha, I'm so funny headline" in front.

First of all, I don't think a drugstore's branding should be dark and gloomy, like something out of a Batman movie.

Second of all - who wrote those headlines? They say if you put 1000 monkey in front of 1000 typewriters, sooner of later, one of them will write Shakespeare. But long before then, they'll write Duane Reade headlines.

One headline reads, “The one place even tourists can find.” Huh?! I had to think about it. Hey - here's a free edit - "So many locations, even tourists can find them." One word longer, ten times clearer. Another headline appears on a subway poster: "The pole you're holding has a gazillion germs on it." Ooh. Really! A) Thanks for the cheap fear-mongering, and B) Why should I buy hand sanitizer from you?

Lesson #1 in advertising: Give consumers a reason to buy from you. And then be clever. Not the other way around.